An account of my failed New Year goals

[As published in the November/December edition of Nkwazi magazine]

The end is nigh! The end of 2015 that is and for many it’s time to look back on the year and reflect on failures and successes. You’ll most likely ask yourself whether you’ve managed to achieve your new year’s resolutions or goals. Perhaps as you down some shots to celebrate the festive season, you’ll regretfully remember that as 2015 approached you resolved to quit drinking. I didn’t make any resolutions per se but I knew how I wanted the year to go and started out 2015 with a few goals in mind. And let’s just say, many weren’t achieved.

Maintain a healthy diet

My diet’s never been out of control but I wanted to make a more conscious effort to eat healthily. However, I knew I’d seriously slacked off when during the third quarter of the year I walked into a popular fast food joint and was greeted with, “It’s been a long time. Where have you been?” This 'restaurant' receives a lot of traffic and is often full to capacity, yet I’d been there enough times that some of the staff noticed my absence. So much for healthy eating. See me inhale pieces of fried chicken and you'd never guess that I used to be vegetarian.

Learn to drive

In my twenties I’m yet to learn how to drive, in part due to fear of taking the wheel. I’ve been put to shame by teens, even below legal driving age, who can move a vehicle more easily than me. I took all of three lessons this year. Three’s the number of lessons I took last year so I’ve convinced myself that it’s not a failure. I haven’t failed, I’ve just maintained last year’s (mediocre) standards. However, I curse myself (and the conductor) every time I’m shortchanged on a public bus. Living in a part of Lusaka where tarred roads are a rarity and finding a paved sidewalk is an impossibility, curses are in order every time I move around my neighbourhood. I’m inevitably covered in layers of dust whenever a car goes by me. At those times I bemoan the fact that I’m not in a car leaving pedestrians eating dust.

Exercise more

For all their annoyances, my dusty walks now constitute the majority of the exercise I get. This is despite the fact that I planned to work out more in 2015. Prioritising flexibility and low impact exercise, yoga was my go-to choice. I woke up bright and early on the first day of the year to do a few yoga sequences but in the weeks that followed I failed to keep the momentum going. Seeing the benefits of yoga from previous years (among other things, it helped keep me sane in my time at university), I recommend it to anyone who’ll listen but for now I’m not practising what I preach. Hypocrite.

Become a better photographer

I take some decent shots, if I don’t mind saying so myself but entering 2015 armed with a new DSLR camera I aimed to take my photography to the next level. I successfully shot a few events but otherwise my biggest achievement is that I’ve now adopted the annoying habit of photographing my meals with my cellphone. To my credit, I don’t put up “This is what I had for lunch” posts on social media. Not yet anyway.

Watch more TV

Yes, that’s right, more not less TV. Granted, this is a weird one. TV-related goals are typically concerned with cutting down time spent staring at the screen. Last year I drastically cut down on TV time and I felt a little clueless about what was going on in the world. I missed out on some major news stories and this former news junkie wasn’t comfortable with that. I also missed the relaxing and entertaining nights I used to have in front of the tube. In case you’re wondering, I don’t count Telemundo as entertainment fit for human consumption (sorry Mum) but I allow myself to occasionally watch some reality TV. If only to ogle at how ridiculous some people’s lives are. The thing is, two of the people I live with are TV addicts and prying the remote out their hands is a real battle. I could watch TV online but hey, internet bundles are expensive and I have to leave something in my budget for all those fast food runs.

Improve my French

When my schedule proved too busy to keep going for French classes, I decided to take up an offer from a francophone friend of a friend to meet at my convenience. He presented a great idea, I’d help him with his English and he’d help me with my French. However, when subsequent conversations were peppered with overt flirtation and talk of music and meals to go with our lessons, I called off our planned experiment worried he’d try to turn our meetings into dates. French may be called the language of love but our lessons didn’t have to be loved up.

Stop procrastinating

I’ll get to this one later. Seriously though, old, overused joke aside, I’ve actually made some gains on this goal. This one is a work in progress with some successes, writing being one area I’ve stopped putting off but there are other areas I haven’t been so successful in. At university I tried to practise what I called “productive procrastination” and I’m considering trying it out again. Cleaning my room and going to gym were two of my preferred modes of positive procrastination when I struggled with an assignment or assigned reading. Not always great for my studies but on the plus side, I was fitter than I am now and my room was always spotless.

How to actually achieve your resolutions

Varying studies have concluded that anywhere from 8 to 12 percent of people actually achieve their new year’s resolutions. There’s no real secret; psychologists agree it’s ultimately down to willpower. Additionally, focusing on one resolution at a time works better than focusing on multiple ones. Telling people who’ll hold you accountable and building up a support team is important too. Breaking down resolutions, especially vague ones, into concrete steps is particularly effective. Celebrating small milestones on the way to the to a big goal is highly advisable. Finally, making resolutions is not bad idea but putting them off until a later stage only means you’re putting off success. It’s merely a form of procrastination. There’s another joke that goes, “Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow.” But for some of us, tomorrow never comes so it’s best to start now on your journey to self-improvement today, rather than at some arbitrary date in the future.

My loc FAQs and common comments

Locs, dreadlocks, dreads, rasta or whatever you want to call them, I’ve found that there’s a lot of curiosity about the hairstyle. In the year and a half that I’ve had locs, friends, family and strangers alike have had no shortage of questions and comments. In this post I’ll discuss a few of the frequently asked questions (FAQs) and typical comments I receive to help shed some light on the misconceptions and address some of issues people express interest in.

So, you just stopped combing your hair?

There are many ways to start and maintain locs. In my case I used comb coils, also known as comb twists and sometimes I simply use my fingers to twist my hair. Palm rolling, backcombing, two strand twists and interlocking are some of the ways to start and maintain locs. Another way is to simply stop combing and brushing one’s hair, which will result in the formation of freeform locs. I find that most people think freeform locs are unattractive and inherently dirty. But this is not necessarily the case. Folk musician Valerie June’s freeform locs are a case in point. They’re big and a little wild and there’s a beauty to them. At least I think so.                                                                                   

Valerie June

Image credit: valeriejune.com

Getting back to the assumption that locs are dirty, one comment I’ve received often is, “Wow, your dreads are so clean!” However, locs are not inherently dirty; it all depends on how much effort the loc wearer puts into keeping them clean. In the baby or starter loc stage, contact with water typically makes the hair unravel but ultimately, dirt and excess oil slow down the locking process. At whatever stage of a loc journey, regular washes are beneficial and it’s up to the loc wearer to decide what frequency best suits their hair.

How long have you had them?

This question is less interesting than the way some people react to my answer. For instance, at 9 months one gentleman responded with, “You’re lying. There’s no way your dreadlocks can be this long after only 9 months, you must have had them for years.” This gentleman and many others seem to think that locs have to be started on super short hair. However, one’s hair doesn’t have to be of any particular length before starting locs but the shorter it is, the more difficult it is for new locs to hold. For anyone planning to start locs, there’s no need to first do a big chop. Ideally hair should at least be about two inches long before starter locs are installed.

Below is a (fuzzy) picture of me with 2-week old starter locs. I trimmed my hair before starting the locking process and have trimmed it several more times over the last year and a half but there was no need for me to cut it close to my scalp.

One of the rare images I took during my starter loc phase

Are they permanent?

Yes and no. Most people think that locs cannot be combed out but it is possible. With a lot of moisture, conditioner, time and patience, it’s doable. However, it largely depends on how long you’ve had them and the method used to create them. The more mature locs are, the harder it is to comb them out.

Locs cultivated by finger coils, comb coils or palm rolling are easier to remove than those cultivated through the interlocking method.  Size is also a factor; the smaller and more mature locs are, the more difficult it is to comb them out. Sisterlocks, a tiny form of locs created through a specialised method are a case in point.

Sisterlocks

Image credit: going-natural.com

Maintaining your hair must be expensive

Again I say, yes and no. The cheapest way to maintain locs is to do it yourself. At times I’ve simply bought locking gel as well as a few other products and for months taken charge of my loc maintenance. However, I’ve also found a hairdresser I trust, so when my schedule won’t allow me to dedicate as much time as I’d like to retwisting and styling my locs, I know where to go to save time. Obviously, getting your locs done at a high-end salon will cost more than at your local market. Maintaining locs can be easily affordable or make a real dent in your wallet depending on where and how often it’s done and the types of products used.

You must be afro-centric

I got this comment even when I had loose hair and wore an afro or two-strand twists but I hear it a little more often since I started locking my hair. Wearing a bright patterned dress and with my hair wrapped but not completely so as to reveal my locs one man looked me up and down, settled his eyes on my hair and said, “You look so natural and African, your husband must be proud.” Stunned and amused, the only words I could string together were, “I’m not married.”

While a certain level of pride in my hair prompted me to go natural and later start locking my hair, my styling choices often have a lot to do with practicality and not just a desire to honour my heritage. One thing worth remembering is that locking of hair is not a practise for black people alone. From Nazarites in biblical times to Hindu holy men and women, Aboriginal Australians to Maasai warriors, a variety of cultures and religions have adopted locked hair as part of their lifestyles. Therefore, I’m not too quick to describe my locs as particularly symbolic of my ‘Africanness’ or African pride.

Aside from assuming I’m particularly afrocentric, many also assume I’m some kind of artist. Singer/songwriter, poet and novelists are some of the guesses people have made. It’s flattering, but all wrong. I can’t sing to save my life, nor am I a creative writer. There’s no one-size-fits-all career path for people with locs; I’ve met loc wearers who work in a variety of fields, some creative, others not.

Afro-centric, creative, artistic, my locs communicate a lot whether true or false

Are you into reggae?

Often people want to know whether I’m a reggae fan or more specifically, if I’m into Bob Marley. An old school mate I bumped into recently asked if I was a Marley fan and then answered his own question by saying, “With that hair, of course you are.” I am fan now but also in my younger days when I had bone straight relaxed hair so the locs are really a factor in my musical tastes.

Curious about locs? Drop a question in the comments section and I’ll (attempt) to answer you.